Personal Wedding

Need 2 Keep My Mind S.A.N.E

Assalamu’alaikum gorgeous!

Well I know most of the people said that a wedding is a once in a life time moment. But I don’t think it’s good if we’re too focusing on the wedding… I mean, we shouldn’t give too much for it, especially on M.O.N.E.Y.. i’ve never dreamed on having such a huge wedding, where all I can do is sitting, handshaking, and smiling for the whole hours. I’m not a mannequin to be showed off though.. >_<

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FYI: The women should read The Heart Inside The Heart by Alexandra Dewi before they get married! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

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My dream wedding is a nice private beach wedding actually. Where the guests will be only my family, my closest relatives, and closest friends.. We vow in front of the beach (what a typical romantic-movie wedding), with the breeze, and a perfect sun, light white dress, light make-up, and a perfect gentleman who puts an elegant wedding ring on my finger.

That’s why I wanna keep my wedding as decent as I can, without making my parents sad (off course). Because like it or not, the wedding isn’t your occasion. It’s your family occasion. And what they do is just wanna make us (the bride & the groom) “happy”.. They think that if they can throw a huge wedding party, then we’ll be pleased.. *sigh*

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Then what about life after wedding? do we still have some money left for building a small family? Well I believe that God will never leave us. Especially when the marriage itself is a part of our worship to God.. But isn’t it better if we just save our money for building a cozy small house, instead of living with our parents? (even when they insist).. Do you know that most teenagers in Germany leave their parent house at 18? And why can’t we, as a grown up people, choose to live separately from our parents? A family starts when weΒ  face every problem independently by ourselves, we run our household by ourselves, we cook, we clean, we manage everything by ourselves. Yes just us, both of us. Well don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean that I wanna leave my parents that much. I’m so freaking scared, just like most women on my age, who wanna get married, and have a same situation as mine. 23 years old, still struggling with my bachelor thesis,Β  no job at all, the last kid on the family (who apparently being such a selfish childish woman, and very independently depends on my parents) .. Geez, what an (un)perfect woman..

But, as I already tasted what it feels to live alone, apart from your family when I was having a summer course scholarship in Germany.Β  But I’ve learned that, through a loneliness comes the urge to make myself ready to handle everything. I went to the university, I shop the daily needs (or I’ll die starving.. lol), I was making new friends, I went to the cinema with my new friends, I celebrated my b’day alone (and no one around me seemed to notice that..:lol: ), and.. I got a very sweet b’day present from my bf (my hubby to be) that made me cry on the public net-cafe.. This is his gift: πŸ˜€

and at that moment, I began to miss my family, friends, and bf so much. I sense them, I think about them, I have strength to survive because I know that I WILL come home someday.. It makes me love my family even more..Β  Yes, lessons learned through independence. That’s why, I NEED to establish our tiny household alone with him. To learn more about life. To make myself stronger.Β  πŸ™‚

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*enough whining*

By the way… I remember a traditional german wedding. It’s really private, yet so sacral. On the night before the wedding, they held a unique tradition called Polterabend . Quoted from Wikipedia:

Polterabend is the term for a German wedding custom in which on the night before the wedding the couple to be married breaks porcelain to bring luck to their marriage. The belief in the effectiveness is expressed by the old adage: “Shards bring luck” (German: Scherben bringen GlΓΌck). The expression is derived from a time when the word “shard” referred to the unbroken clay pots of pottery makers, and not just the broken pieces. It was said that a full jar was a lucky thing to have, therefore the expression “shards bring luck”.

Yup yup, they break dishes, porcelain, and glass.. mrgreen Need 2 Keep My Mind S.A.N.E This is quite the same like a bachelor party. It’s very unique isn’t it? :D:D

*****

Wasalamu’alaikum!

Ola Aswandi | Twitter @olanatics | IG olanatics

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4 Comments

  1. my wedding was small (for jakarta standard) and it was outdoor.
    i was a bit afraid about the rain, but it didn’t happen. the venue has its own pawang hujan and it worked! or maybe we were just lucky.

    good luck for your wedding preparation πŸ™‚

    1. hi MF..thx for stopping by.. πŸ™‚
      At 1st I was choosing the outdoor venue too.. It’s a pool side wedding type.. So romantic and windy.. πŸ˜€
      But then me n my bf think that it would be better if we hold an indoor wedding.. It’s because most of the guests are old people. So we don’t want to make them sick after our wedding.. hahaha…
      So we decided to do it on a mosque.. It’s decent, and sacral.. (for us)..

      Thx dear! πŸ˜‰

  2. sweety..
    me,at 1st had the same thought with you, a wedding doesn’t always have to be huge and high-cost, but along with the wedding preparation, i realize a wedding is more than just about you, but it is also about your parents.

    I wanted like this, my parents wanted like that, so i have to compromise their wants and their needs too, furthermore i also have to compromise with my fiance’s big family too. it’s also often happen, in several things, their desire clashed with mine.

    so, when it comes to a wedding you can’t think only about yourself, like how do you want your wedding party to be held? who’s the guests are coming? and what kind of party you wanted? is it appropriate or not?

    because, all of that things will surely affected how your parents and your fiance’s parents would be regarded by their colleagues and their big family..

    i hope my experience could give you some alternative point of view about planning a wedding

    cheers
    luv n hug
    (^o^)

    1. yes dear, I realized that..
      That’s why rite now i prefer to let my parents (esp. my mother) takes the charge of it. Especially about the guest list, and foods.. Let her do it aja laaah… πŸ˜€
      Thank God my fiance’s family don’t want to involve on the preparation.. It makes my job lighter actually.. πŸ˜€

      I’m afraid that everything will be overbudget.. The guests are too many, the foods aren’t enough.. blablabla.. >_< I know that we can't satisfy everybody.. But it's really bugging my mind, if in the end of the wedding, I'll hear only bad comments from the guests.. And it's surely also affected people's point of view to my family.. πŸ™

      Anyway, thank u soooo much for ur advice.. It's really opend my mind.. πŸ™‚

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